"We Don't Say Those Words in Class!"

Two weeks ago, I actually went to visit a friend in a nursing home who has Alzheimer disease. I went with my grandson who is almost getting to five. Little did I expect the outcome of the visit and as research points out the bulk of children questions indicate curiosity and it is good to listen to their expression of feelings before we can make judgment if their questions reflect any form of biases (Derman-Sparks& Edward, 2010). My grandson was more than shocked and embarrassed to find so many of the elderly people in the nursing home and he asked “Is this school for grandmas and grandpas?” “Where is their teacher?” I answered back with another question with the hope of making him think. “Koen does your grandma go to school?” And he answered “No, But why are they many here?” I had a lot to explain the entire time. When he saw me trying to feed my friend with puree food, he said, “Yuck! Grandma, she is not a baby; she can feed herself , why are you feeding her?” I calmly responded “Because she is really sick, so I have to feed her.” It was evident that children are very keen observers of adults’ behavior and they pay attention to even very subtle clues about what is and what is unacceptable behavior (Derman-Sparks &Edwards, 2010).  Opposite us another resident was very boisterous and cursing, and my grandson again just blurted  to the resident “Stop saying that it is not right!” I had to hush him down and told him to “shut up” and he reminded me simultaneously with “that is a bad word and you don’t say that grandma, right?” I just gave him “the look” because I was trying to focus on my friend.

Needless to say, he got overwhelmed with the behavior of the residents screaming, some yelling and each time I looked at him, he was petrified and he just gazed at the different scenarios they played out before him. I put my finger on my lip indicating to him to be quiet. I knew he had zillion questions and comments to make. It was his first time going into a nursing home. Children developing need accurate information and opportunities to interact with people who have disabilities to counter their misconceptions and fears (Derman- Spark & Edwards, 2010). Accordingly, the moment we stepped out of the building he told me he was scared when a particular resident was out of control and was shouting hysterically. We sat somewhere and I had to explain to him why the residents were in the nursing home and made him see that they needed care because most of them were too old to take care of themselves. I allowed him to express how he felt and we talked about it and I believe he overcame his doubts and fears.

My message to him was to understand that when I will be about 90 years like most of the residents I might not be able to do a lot for myself. I might use a wheel chair because my legs would not be able to carry me to places and as we drove home we talked and made references to the nursing home experience. An anti bias educator might want to have a visit to an old people’s home with children to see that not all old people in their 90s are on wheelchairs. By the same token, if they are children with disability in school and on wheelchairs it could be a teachable moment for children to appreciate others with disability, and for them to see and understand the differences in each person. Children would get interested in the wheelchair and any equipment that come with it (Pelo, 2008), they would feel comfortable, and they would dispel any inner fear they might have developed.

References

Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).

        Pelo, A. (Ed.). (2008). Rethinking early childhood education. Milwaukee, WI: Rethinking Schools. 

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